Monday, 12 May 2014

Land clearance - again!

Mr TG is not in good books!
I went over to the polytunnel yesterday (MY polytunnel) and noticed a Fatsia missing so I asked Mr TG to come over and asked him if there was anything he wanted to tell me.
"Like what?" he says
"Anything. Anything at all?"
"Well I did borrow a plant for my new area" Yes, Mr TG has suddenly decided he's Alan Titchmarsh and could do this "Gardening lark" easily.
"Well what do you think you took?" I asked him.
"One of those Gunnera things" he said.
"Actually no, you took a Fatsia which will not survive here in such an exposed area as where you're planting stuff. Believe me. I've lost 3 so far"
"Yes but that's you, it'll grow for me" Yes, he really did think that.
"Actually it won't because you're going to get it back and I'll swap it for an actual Gunnera".

I was already a bit peeved at this point soI did a quick check of the PT to make sure nothing else had gone - it seemed ok. I went over to this new planting area of Mr TG's and noticed it looked rather full compared to the other day. I'd already donated him Willow trees and Ash trees and had promised him 4 Rhododenrons but then I noticed 2 empty fruit tree pots. As I stared at the empty pots not quite registering what I was looking at, Mr TG shouts out
"Oh yeah I had them trees too!"
"Do you even know what they are?" I asked
"Yeah trees" Oh he's so technical.
"Don't blame me when they die in your very exposed area, it's an Apple tree and a Fig tree and the winds from the sea will just kill them" I told him.
"They won't die, they'll grow for me"

Seething doesn't quite cover it.
Then looking around I noticed a lovely tree that looked suspiciously like an Apple tree that a friend had grown from seed and I had looked after and was now growing into a decent tree. I couldn't quite believe that he had pinched that too from my garden area at the greenhouse but Mr TG simply stated
"Well it was leaning where you had it and I thought it would look better here"
Now I could see the nervous look on his face as I spotted another rather lush looking specimen that I hadn't (and wouldn't have) given him.
"What the bleep bleep bleep"
"Ah yes" he says "It does look so much better there doesn't it"
"But that's my blinkin Olearia that I grew from a cutting and you've dug it up from my ruddy garden"
I'm not joking when I say the air was blue with what was coming out of my mouth.
He's basically gone along my gardens deciding what he likes the look of, dug it up and planted it in the most exposed area of the land - I was so not happy.

We've been clearing the land for a few weeks now. It started in December with the clearing of Gorse bush on a couple of acres and then the local farmer came along and did something cool with a malicious looking instrument that levelled it for us.
We then went along collecting all the dead material, large boulders and roots with this amazing piece of fun (should have purchased one years ago)

The farmer will come along again with his equipment and level it, then we'll de stone it again, then seed it and then another farmer will come along and roll it. We've been here almost 11 years and this is the first time we've ever come close to having land we are able to walk on and eventually mow.

We have Sheligeo burn running along the edge of our property and own the land on the other side of it. I was down there the other day (collecting the dog who keeps jumping the fence) and decided we really need to renovate the area. It's over run with gorse and other bramble type plants but it's a lovely area to sit and relax as it's covered with deciduous trees which isn't too common here.

This is Shelligeo burn running through the land. The wooden structure you can just about see on the right was a den made for the girls when they were younger - they used to sleep over in it with their friends but gave up because it was too scary and then they would be too scared to make their way back to the house.
The bridge is probably still serviceable but I'm not brave enough to use it.

Somewhere along the burn is a Gunnera but some maintenance is needed and I can't quite see it just yet but this marsh marigold is growing literally everywhere

Lots of lovely Primrose growing everywhere too. It's funny but I don't particularly like this plant and would never willingly grow it however seeing it in it's natural setting is pleasant to stumble across and I imagine there are numerous other amazing wild plants growing in this area - if only we could get to them.


  1. Did Mr TG end up sleeping in the den and did you get your plants back?
    And where is the photo of his garden?

    1. No, the den was too good for him - he slept in the dog kennel ;)
      I got the Fatsia back but he has the others still, they're already showing signs of die back because Mr TG has no sense of when it't the right time to dig up a plant and move it - full leaf is really not the best time - and also he has no concept of a root ball - they'll grow more roots apparently so won't miss all those he chopped off.
      I will be making my next post all about his new "garden" - oh what a treat you're in for :)

  2. Thanks for the highly amusing (to the rest of us who weren't there) post! I read this to my husband, just to make sure he and I were on the same wavelength about the issues involved here... :-)

    1. They just do not grasp it do they Beth lol. Mr TG honestly believes that he can defy all the usual rules of even basic gardening and yet still produce Eden.
      Thank you for reading :)


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