I decided to head straight for the garden this morning, no detouring to the greenhouse or polytunnel because then I'd get sidetracked and end up still not clearing up the first bit of landscaping we started days ago.
I dutifully moved those turfs from digging out new borders (well I turned em upside down and put them in the empty beds anyway) and then set about clearing the grass of stones and then the new flower beds of stones.
I'm not the only gardener that suffers from depression (or The Black Dog as I refer to it) but I've learned a few tricks to keep the negativity at bay that The Black Dog feeds on. If I stick to a few simple rules then The Black Dog is kept to heel, or if I'm really lucky, he'll snooze in his kennel.
One of those rules is to listen to music whenever I am alone, The Black dog hates music because I can't be thinking negative thoughts if I'm singing and the singing makes him sleep.
Anyway today I broke that rule. I was beavering away and butt dancing (you know what I mean - butt in the air as you're bent over) and I stopped to have a break, then I took the headphones out.
Maybe I would have freaked anyway at the sight of yet another brand new hole dug by my Great Dane slash JCB digger and DayLillies scattered everywhere, who knows, but it didn't stop there. I should have put the headphones back in while I filled the hole back in but I didn't! Instead I inspected the rest of the flower borders and the grass and all of a sudden.....BAM! The dog poop that was so well camouflaged inside my plants that I'd missed it during daily poop picking service really, really, really pee'd the pants off me. Then the compacted borders where the dogs keep playing really, really pee'd me off and finally the sight of damaged border plants that were attempting to finally come out cheesed me off royally and within 10 minutes The Black Dog was out his kennel and gnashing at my legs, all gnashy slathering teeth.
Suddenly I wish I had never started the landscaping and wanted nothing more to do with it.
I sulked royally!
I've lived with The Black Dog (a phrase coined by the late and great Winston Churchill) for as long as I can remember and I know how quickly it can escalate. If I don't get in there fast with some positive thinking and distraction methods to uplift my mood then I'll end up wallowing and I don't ever want to go back there.
Although the dogs had caused the damage that caused the mood change they are also a life saver in times like this. I love my dogs and would never ever take a mood out on them so even by the time I had put them away my mood had lifted somewhat.
I quickly stuffed those earphones back in, headed to the Polytunnel and stuffed my nose in the Hyacinths - how can the smell of those fail to lift any mood?
And lovely they smelled too :)
With a clearer frame of mind plans are now afoot to erect some temporary fencing to prevent the dogs accessing the area of the garden I'm currently working on. My flower beds and grass will finally get a chance to recover!
The Black Dog hates positive thinking and resolution so he's bored and is in his kennel. He's not asleep though, he has a watchful eye on me and if I slip for even a minute....................