Tuesday 9 April 2013

Embarrassing garden plans

I was really going to do it. I was going to bite the bullet and post my garden plans that I had a go at drawing up the other day. I just can't do it. I ummed and ahhed but I honestly cannot embarrass myself that much, nor Mr TG cos his were worse (in my humble opinion).
You see I AM an artist. By that I mean I have an O Level grade A in Art and had I not followed the Equestrian route after school I may very well have attempted to eke out a living through Art.
With that in mind I just cannot bring myself ..............................oh what the heck I'll do it, but first I have to post a picture of the last thing I drew a couple of years ago because I'd rather a half decent drawing was the first thing you see



Please bear in mind that this VERY ROUGH garden plan was scribbled down with a biro on the garden and is neither to scale nor exactly finished. What I will do is re-draw it properly (still not to scale mind cos I'm too lazy to measure it all) and then re-post it but for now.....


I have never made garden plans - EVER! If it works in my head then I do it, if it looks naff when I've finished then I'll sulk for a while before re-doing it.  My expertise (or lack of) in the garden design drawing department is clearly evident in several areas.
  1. The obvious naffness of the drawing.
  2. The fact that I had to extend our boundary fence at the bottom into the farmers field (don't think the sheep would take kindly to that)
  3. Not one plant that already exists is named (or even in its correct place in the plan)
  4. Not one plant name has been suggested (because I make it up as I go along and I'll decide on those rather crucial elements 2 seconds before I plant them)
  5. No element is described i.e. Who's to know that the squiggle going all the way across the grass is a path of some description.
  6. Who's to know that it even IS grass?
  7. Again, the obvious naffness of the drawing.
Now I feel brave enough to include Mr TG's garden plan. You need to picture the scene first though:- Do you remember at school when you didn't want anyone to copy your work so you hunched over it with that protective arm circle?  Well that was Mr TG with these garden plans, so you now have to imagine the masterpiece  I was expecting with all his protectiveness


Now I appreciate how rubbish my own design is but floating grass?  When he first revealed this masterpiece it took me an age to focus on it, it really did.
At least Mr TG did offer some plant suggestions but here's why this plan is equally as naff as my own
  1. All that path that goes round the floating lawn and up to the bird aviary and off into a million other places is a stone set path - this project is mine and it would take me years to cart that much stone from acres away and set it all.
  2. The plants! Well let's just say those things that look like buried bodies are his planting suggestions.
  3. Look hard and you'll see his suggestion of "small box hedge" randomly splattered down the side of the floating lawn. Box blight and hedge cutting are not in his vocabulary.
  4. At the far top right he suggests a "Rose garden". Lovely you might say, only his Rose garden is in the most exposed North facing area of the garden. Wind would rip them apart - Oh the slaughter of it all!
  5. A water feature in the middle of the lawn? Seriously? And a round one to boot.
  6. The area that gets the most sun and heat (which we need to use here in the Highlands) is the area he's stuck a patio on with potted plants$$!!
  7. His plan makes absolutely no sense whatsoever and would do my head in every time I go out there. 
  8. It's naff!
So there you go I've embarrassed myself and Mr TG (though Mr TG will never find out) and I completely understand if you're unable to offer us some helpful hints due to the belly aching laugh you are probably in the middle of.

So I am going to leave you with a couple more arty pictures. Not mine this time, these are by one of my daughters who inherited my Arty flair. Actually they both inherited it (twins) but one of them doesn't bother so much



Once you've managed to stop laughing perhaps you could offer a helpful hint re the garden design process? Other than "Give up" or "Get someone in that can actually draw" of course because we've already heard that LOL.

14 comments:

  1. Both you and your daughter have an amazing talent in drawing! (We also have twins).

    Garden plans....always nice to dream big but reality is not always so achievable. Hope you both enjoy whatever you end up choosing.

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    1. My girls are 22 now Karen and what I wouldn't give to go back to when they were 6 - time flew by so fast.
      The garden plans are a work in progress I think. I dont know how we expect to be able to produce anything to work from if we dont measure what we have, the plans just look distorted lol.
      Thank you for coming by and leaving a message.

      Linda

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  2. You are too critical of your drawing in the plan- Joe Swift's aren't any better and he does it for a living!

    The other drawings are beautiful.

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    1. There's hope for us yet then Sue ;)
      Thank you for your compliment :)

      Linda

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  3. Wow....AMAZING art work!!!

    I wish you luck with your plans.....drawing them is the easy bit....not that I'd know as I've never drawn a garden plan.xxxxx

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    1. Me neither until that attempt Snowbird and I have to say it's not my forte. There's too much technical side to it in order to get dimensions even half right.
      Thank you for popping by

      linda

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  4. You're too hard on yourself, Linda - garden plans are meant to fulfill the needs of one person - you, the gardener. So, who cares if you haven't labelled plants or lawn or path? You know what they are. Beautiful, accurate, watercolour plans may look lovely, but that doesn't make the garden any better. Draw your plans any way that helps you, I say!

    I find it almost impossible to force myself to go out and measure, too, but I did do some pacing (once), and that's close enough for me to see the proportions of my spaces, which is all I really want from a plan. I don't plan the plants, either, I need to see them in the ground before I can picture how to arrange them.

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    1. Thank you Lyn :) That has made me feel a whole heap better and I'm glad I'm not the only one who doesn't use a tape measure ;)
      I never thought about the pacing out though which is weird because I see Alan Titchmarsh do it all the time. Thank you for the reminder, I think I will do that in future.

      Linda

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  5. The drawings are simply amazing. You and your daughter are very talented. The garden plans look a lot like mine! Honestly, I do much better "drawing" things out on the ground than on paper, and usually just eyeball what I want to do with a vague idea in my head. However, if you really want to draw a proper garden plan with plants, etc., you need to get grid paper (a lot of it) and measure your place out. Have each grid equal one square foot. Be certain you indicate direction and even the shade areas of trees. When you get it drawn out, "draw" it out on the ground using sand, flour, or marking paint. Even then, you will probably have to tweak it a bit to make it look on the ground as you have it in your head. Good luck!

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    1. I think I'm better off keeping it all in my head lol. The plans have changed already. The thing is I can see it in my head but makes no sense on paper.
      Thank you for popping by

      Linda

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  6. Jeez, don't be so self-critical. They look more official than anything I've ever done. Think more about the details and working your ideas through. This is a hobby, you know, something you do because it is fun. So relax and enjoy yourself. No matter what, you'll have to make changes when you try to translate from plan to garden.

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    1. I tend to turn every hobby I have into a dousing of self criticism, nothing is ever good enough and could be just that little bit better.
      I think I need to take a breath and just enjoy the process a bit more, it's no wonder I'm going out there every day with a feeling of trepidation.
      Thanks for popping by and leaving a comment.

      Linda

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  7. Quite the artist...I only wish I had a thimble of it...your garden plans are no worse than mine and I thought not bad at all...

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    1. Thank you Donna :) I guess i'm very critical of pretty much everything I do.

      Thanks for popping by

      Linda

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